weird neighbor 30th of Mid Year, 2019

content warning: coprophilia, animal waste, poisoning?

I am getting ready for work early in the morning. I notice construction workers being loud and scowl at them from my window. A bunch of them come upstairs to an apartment up and diagonal from me and start hanging out with the "weird neighbor" whom I suspect is a coprophiliac. One of them is offered cake, and he shoves his hand, which is covered in wet concrete, into the cake and eats it. I am disgusted by the impromptu gathering, and leave for work.

After work I get a text from my partner (at the time) reminding me he will be at DnD that night and won't be home until late. I have two pieces of cheese pizza that I microwaved at a friend's house and I text him that I will save one for him. I get home and park very far away from my building, my logic being that the spots closer to my building are always full, so it is a waste of time to even try looking closer. I start walking back to my building and I see a woman walking to her car and think her pants are really cute. When I get to the building, one of my neighbors tells me the building has just been closed by management without warning. Maintenance is the middle of posting a sign about warning that the building will close and prep instructions. I remark that it's a little late for that.

While waiting for the building to reopen I text my partner about it. I eat both the pieces of pizza and tell him to get another one on his way home tonight. I start pacing, almost skipping, in a circle with my fists out. I shout that I've had a long day, working from 6am to 7pm, and that I've been wearing my platform boots all day and I'm exhausted. I say that I'm getting cranky and that I might fight the leasing office or maintenance soon, and that I am wearing carpal tunnel braces because "Mama's always gettin' into trouble." A neighbor laughs nervously and says she wouldn't want to get on my bad side.

A leasing agent comes out to us. She is one of my managers at work. I tell her that, living where she works, I might be even meaner to get at our work. She laughs nervously and she and everyone else seem uncomfortable, so I tell them I'm only joking. She leads us into the building, upstairs, to the unit next to the "weird neighbor." She says that someone was mixing dog faeces with human food and it had to be addressed legally with a hazmat crew. I ask if it was the "weird neighbor" and she confirms. She says he did so much with faeces that it would sometimes get onto the neighboring unit's balcony. She reassures us that the "weird neighbor" has been evicted and his apartment sanitized, and that we can now return to our homes.