december 22, 2018

we're aries

I go with some other people to Jenna Marbles's and Julien's house. Julien and I hit it off really well and are having fun rough housing in the back yard. Jenna is mad and thought we are romantically interested in each other. Julien says it's just because we're both Aries so it was natural that we hit it off. She seems a little relieved, but it's time for me to leave anyway so I wish them both farewell.

december 22, 2018

chuck e cheese

content warning: unsanitary

I am going with my family to McDonald's to meet up with someone's grandparents. Almost all of the parking lot is handicapped reserved. I remark that only old people eat at McDonald's. We go inside. They have been waiting for 15 minutes and already disapprove of us. Everyone orders food except for me because I cannot afford it. A worker feels bad for me and brings me a chicken sandwich. I eat it. It is bland despite having sauce on it. I thank the worker anyway. My parents finish talking to the elder couple. We leave.

We go to a frozen yogurt place. We watch someone get kidnapped outside, and the owner of the shop calls the police on phone that resembles ice cream. The police say they don't want to do anything. The owner hops the counter and chases after the kidnapper. He is well known for this. My mother declares this gives her an idea. She is going to throw my half brother (not her son, my father's) a birthday party and build her own Chuck E Cheese. I agree to help.

It is the night of the party. The building is huge and full of shopping and other entertainment as well, and there are tons of people. Everyone is dressed in formal attire, and my mother and I are dressed white tie. I have to go to the bathroom. The bathrooms are full. I try the men's and women's bathrooms, which are full of middle school aged children. I declare I can't tell them apart. I find a large open bathroom that looks like stadium seating. I sit in the back and see someone teaching 2 women dressed as cartoon witches about business. I ask if they knew this was a bathroom. They freak out, and leave. Suddenly dozens of people are leaving, and they all must pass me while I'm trying to pee. After many, I put up my leg go to stop the rampaging crowd because I have to wipe. They try to go the other way, but someone screams that they don't want to leave that way, and they come back faster and push me out of the room.

We are stampeding out of the bathroom and we see my mother has stretched out tissue paper ribbon for us to cross. I am worried it will tangle in my heels. I leap very far past her and land slowly. I remark that I "have no gravity." I pose for photos using my anti gravity powers.

I ask my mother how the party is going. She says King Dedede has tried to stop it but he has been unsuccessful. We go to see it. The party is my half brother, wearing a mouse hat, playing with toys on a stage with everyone watching. All of the room is dimly lit. It is his 4th birthday, but he actually looks and acts like an 8 month old, except a bit tinier. He seems nervous. My brother remarks that usually the entertainment is an adult in a Chuck E Cheese costume. My mother says she's not sure if that's right but that she will do that next time.